Peace that passeth understanding!

LUEGO LO TRADUZCO A ESPANOL.
I’ve learned that not only are my friends and family reading my blog but also their friends and their families. If you’re one of those people, I apologize for not introducing myself in my first blog and explaining more thoroughly our story. So...
In the late 1970’s my parents moved from Miami to Kissimmee, FL and to be honest, it’s here where I have any early memories. My mom had always taken us to church, but we started attending a new kind of church. I remember when my mom took us out of public school and put us in the church’s school. My dad was furious when he found out, him not being the church going type.
We prayed and prayed and soon my dad joined us in attending Bible Baptist Church. All of us got saved (asked Jesus to come and dwell in our hearts and forgive us of our sins). But for me this getting saved business was more a fire policy or get of hell free card. Each week we went to church anywhere from 3 to 4 days. I learned a bunch about the Bible and at age 16, now living in Melbourne, FL I felt God wanted me to be a missionary.
I went to Baptist Bible College in Springfield, MO and here I realized being a Christian was more than insurance, it was a personal relationship with Jesus. I asked Jesus in my heart second semester and God began to bring all that I had learned in church to my memory and I started applying it. To trust, love, forgive, confess, change, etc. After graduating from college, I went to be a missionary in Chile for 8 years where I also met my husband gave birth to my gorgeous daughter Emma Marie.
Now closer to the present is where this cancer journey begins. My roommate from my freshman year at college was pregnant with her 3rd child and in the 5th month of her pregnancy. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had never gone to a get a mammogram – we were too young still. With Missy’s situation, I went to get checked.
My 1st mammogram in early 2008 indicated I had 2 lumps in my left breast. I had a lumpectomy in April and PRAISE God they were benign (not cancerous).
Flash forward August 2009, I went for my yearly female exam & was reminded I needed to follow up with a mammogram. Again they found 2 suspicious spots, but after going to my general surgeon he ruled the areas most likely were scar tissue and added a swollen lymph node (I had didn’t even know about) was most likely due to my being overweight. Everything was ok.
November 16, 2009, the Monday before my sister’s wedding and the week right before Thanksgiving, I felt two large masses on my left breast while showering. I tried to keep this under wraps but after suddenly having to go get another mammogram so soon; my ever so cunning mom figured out something was amiss. I told her and we began to pray.
Thanksgiving week went by and on November 30th, I had an ultra sound guided biopsy of the 2 masses and one lymph node. Believe me this was scary. On December 8, just one day before by 35th birthday, I was diagnosed with advanced state high grade invasive ductile carcinoma which equals breast cancer.
Now you’re caught up, but probably have a million questions I’m sure, we did. Why didn’t they catch this earlier? Is this malpractice? Should I sue? Did the Dr’s screw up? To these & many other questions, only God knows and He is in control. So I put a quick stop to where these questions were going.
“Aren’t you scared?” ask the brave enough to ask. Sometimes, but mostly I’m at peace. I have learned some enormous lessons. Have you ever seen two kids battling it out for one toy? Well, that’s God & me. I have worries and I give it to God, but I’m the spoiled brat who comes back time after time giving over my worries to God, wanting them back. He so very much wants to carry my burden and fears but I keeping coming back to Him trying to take them back. Why?
Guess what? I just asked that very same question. So I decided to let Him carry this load called cancer. I’m going to let Him lead me through “the valley of the shadows of death [and despair]” (Psalm 23:4) because He’s much better than I am at carrying this load. As a matter of fact, He’s perfect. He is the only living God.
Wow! Are you seeing what I see? The Lord Jesus Christ is my Shepherd (caretaker of worries) (Psalm 23:1).
More questions sent by the devil himself filled my mind. What’s going to happen to Pablo and Emma if I die? I’m not being negative, I’m being realistic. Pablo forgets to feed Emma breakfast on Saturday morning and says those things that only a man would say and makes by baby cry. Who is going to buy Pablo decent clothes or tell him if he looks like a clown or not? Who will cut his hair? Who is going to listen patiently to his enormous wealth of knowledge? Or encourage him to step out of his comfort zone?
You know what God said, “Yoo-hoo, Adrienne, they don’t belong to you. They are a gift I’ve given to you but they have always and forever will be mine. I am their Shepherd too. I have always taken care of them and will continue to do so even if you come to live with me.”
I have a firm faith they’ll do just fine. As hard as it is to admit, they’ll move on when I am gone. That brings me such peace. I cannot explain it. It passes my own understanding.

Philippians 4:6-7 6Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

For now I will just keep living with hope, peace, and laughter trusting in God’s will for my life and living it to the max! Remember, Tuesday I go see the oncologist at Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, FL. Pray for God’s wisdom to fall on the doctor to guide my treatment. I love you all and vividly feel your prayers. Thank you.